Clause Marks
Topics: funny
Clause Marks
Organised religion would not normally be your first port of call for advice on contract law - well, excepting maybe canon law and wedding contracts. One religious group, however, has come up with an interesting twist.
A group called The Satanic Temple had planned to unveil a statue of Baphomet in Detroit. Wishing to avoid protesters and other distractions at the ceremony, they came up with the following plan (via jwz):
Attendees for the event had to go through the following process: 1. Show up at the location stated on the e-ticket. 2. Go through a security checkpoint there. 3. Sign a contract transferring their souls to Satan. 4. Get the real location for the event, which was miles away.
Here is the relevant part of that contract:
I agree that by signing this document under any name, given or adopted, actual or pseudonymous, I am hereby avowing my soul to Satan (aka Abbadon, aka Lucifer, aka Beelzebub, aka The Antichrist). I do so knowing that He (aka The Fallen One, aka The Father of Lies) or any of His representatives may choose to collect my eternal soul at any time, with or without notice. I understand that my signature or mark representing any name, real or made up, upon these papers constitutes a lasting and eternal contract, and that there will be no further negotiations on the matter of my eternal soul.
jwz further comments that this should maybe become part of his rider, together with the Frisco clause.
I agree, and in fact I think it should also be included in our standard Proof of Concept documents, along the lines of the brown M&Ms clause:
The truth of the matter is not that Eddie Van Halen gave a fig either way for the colour of his M&Ms. The M&Ms were there purely as a test. If there were brown M&Ms in the bowl, or no M&Ms at all, the tour managers instantly knew that they could not take anything for granted and had to double-check everything else.
If both clauses passed without comment, I would be really curious to find out whether there were brown M&Ms laid out. It might be a bit difficult to enforce the Baphomet clause - although it might be good for negotiations, trading a few percentage points of discount against Purchasing’s eternal soul.
Wait, are we sure that they have one…?